Consider this your tourist guide to a small area in Johannesburg known as “The South”. Those not native to Jozi, as well as many brave folk (including Capetonians, Durbanites and farmers from the North West) who have made the city of gold their home, do not fully grasp nor understand the part of town known as “The South”.
Glenvista, Mondeor, Rosettenville, Linmeyer and surrounds constitutes “The South”. Alberton is a tricky one as many residents have “East” tendencies (a post for another day). If you’ve watched shows like Jersey Shore or Jerseylicious – take away the American accents add a few more steroids and you have “The South”. So for those of you travellers intent on exploring the greater Mzansi – here’s how you’ll know you are in “The South”…
1. The Portuguese population will out number you at any given time at least 4 to 1. The Lebanese population will out number you as well.
2. “The South’s” male species will constantly make referrals to “my chick” and end almost every sentence with “boet”. E.g. “Like I live in the south boet”. “You know hey, my chick is a belter”. Actually… it may be best to include a short vocabulary list here to help you understand the native tongue:
Bint – chick
Rawl – fight
China – mate
Chunda – vomit
Tune – lecture/give someone a piece of your mind
Awe – Yes, sometimes also used to replace cool
Ya waila – Hectic
Naught – hectic (normally “Naught boet”)
3. Every person you meet will be related in some way to the next person you meet. No matter how much you try – every girl/guy you hook up with will know the next one because they both dated the same Portuguese guy or girl/are cousins/dated one another’s cousin/are sisters or brothers/went to school together/with her or his brother/with her or his ex. You get the idea
4. Most cars have rosaries hanging from the rear view mirror.
5. At some point during your travels you will hear the saying “Do you know who I am?”. You won’t. But pretend you do because if not he/she will call the “cousins” and in “The South” a fair fight consists of 5 of them beating down on 1 of you.
6. Little Citi Golfs sound supped up and rev like a V8.They also have blue lights underneath the bonnet. Most cars in the south have Subwoofers in the back, normally banging some indefinable rave tunes.
7. Drive up to a robot and the person next to you will rev his engine in the hope of “dicing” you.
8. Standard apparel for males in the south consists of sleeveless hoodies and flat peak caps. “Tap Out” shirts and sleeveless hoodies are currently most popular. The current south trend is to be involved in MMA – even if it means you just go to the gym once a week to get beaten up.
9. Girl on girl fights are common – no scratching though, we’re talking breaking bottles on each other’s heads and smashing faces into car bonnets. “The chicks in the south are naught boet.”
10. Most men in the South have tribal tattoos on their body (very few look like the picture below).
Mind you, ask most people from the area and they’ll tell you – the best thing to come out of the North is the M1 South.
I need to credit a few text jokes and emails for the original “You know you’re from the south when….” lines. Most of the above was inspired from those.
HA HA HA A HA HA
whats a boet?! *confuuuused*
Boet is Afrikaans for “brother” or “comrade”. Afrikaans is one of of our eleven official languages, think it predominantly comes from Dutch? You can hear the actual pronounciation here I think: http://dictionary.reverso.net/english-definition/boetYou
Much like “mate” some guys here insist on ending all their sentences with “boet”
Hi Sam , pls add 2332f78e
[...] presents: Bitch please, I’m from the south. posted at That Place in my [...]
Howdy!
I wanted to say thanks again for submitting to the Traveler’s Show & Tell blog carnival, and also congratulations! Your article has been hand-selected and was included in the latest edition which was published today.
Thanks again!
brilliant… LOL stuff!
So glad you had a giggle!
Loved it! Having left R.S.A. more than 30 years ago, those words were like songs to me! They took me home, although I lived i n Alberton (?) I had many friends in the South and that language was very typical of the youth already then!
You need to come back and visit Leonor!
Loved this article! I come from the south, but fortunately I’m not naught. The south has a culture all on it’s own. We have a race all our own. We have a sense of brotherhood and comradeship all our own. The south is home. It’s a place where everyone knows everyone, and you can’t do anything stupid without everyone knowing about it in less than ano hour! But it’s home. And I L♥√ع it!
Sweeet ek se. Putting this onto http://www.facebook.com/LaughSA ,boet.
Thanks Trevor! That’s rad!
What happened to Storks, is it not part of the South anymore?
Storks is well and triving so is the Electron Bar
Long live storks nothing like it anywhere else pity its not like it used to be
And you forgot we like going to Lusito Land!!!
To all the chicks and chinas out there, am am from the South (not the East part – the part we refer to as the “deep south”). I can confrim that the article was factual, in fact so factual that I couldn’t stop laughing at every one of the statements made (I personally use the terms aweh, china, boet on a daily basis with friends). But I would never ever ever trade the South in for even the East part. Its the zeffest place ever where everyone is themselves. Great article
Spot on – wonderful
North, South, West, East all the same. Been there done that. People just f**k you over. Closest person to you f**ks you the best.
Sugerman you deffinately not from the South proper then
Brillllllliant hahahaha
Hell ya that sounds like the south I know and love although I haven’t lived there in over 5years every time I go there I feel like I never left a lot of friends and family stil live there and the comaradery is still alive and well ill always be a southerner at heart and have no problem with that u know what I mean boet ya waila always love the south
You hit the nail on the head…. Classic. Loved reading it.
Thanks
Sweet, south rules
Not in the south my china, always look out for each other.
Naught hey boet, the south isn’t anything like that hey. We always fight fair, you are given like a full 30seconds to run before me and my gheys chase you and teach you that lesson you asked for hey.
Boys from the north are born with blue eyes , boys from the south have to fight for them
And Don’t Forget The Rosary Tattoo’s On Almost Every Other Guy, The Track Pants, The Tomy’s/or Superga’s and The Stepping
its better being a Southy than a North boy who rocks a justin bieber hairstyle and skinny jeans.. Cut your hair bitches and stop wearing yo moms pants hahaha.
Hahahaha that was brilliant but a couple of important things were left out, the geyes walk like they are carrying watermelons under their arms, the girls with their black roots and broken,brittle peroxided hair, naught boet, makes me wanna chunda! Also if you don’t step with a pair of warn out scraped pumps, you are not aweh!!iwhen the person next to you at the robots sound costs more then their car, you know fo shizzle you’ve hit the deep south! When you don’t have to pay rent for a shop because you sell your junk from your trunk, that’s awe!! Anyway I’m roeging with my bellavista briefcase! Awe hond,I’m kicking down!!
Awe!!! South chicks still rule hey. Born, bred and cultuvated in the south and proud of it. Very true that no matter how long you out the south, when you go back and walk in southdale you are bound to run into quite a few chinas and recognise a few dudes and even try and dodge and dive a few you would rather forget. Cheers for eers you okes. Heil to the south. Awe place ek se!!!!
I’m from the south (originally Crown Gardens,now Glenvista) and I’m sad to admit… That this is the truth… Shocking really
Then get out Jacobus.
Haha yea..jacobs..no1 is stopping υ from leaving are they?? We don’t need people that wanna complain about the ways ay..move along now..maybe ul fit better in the north..WET;)
fascinating! I’
ve driven through the south to fetch a friend. Was told to be very careful – I’m a Capetonian. Was just visiting.
Alberton is not the South
Have to agree with you Leigh-Anne the south originally ended at Rifle Range road . I was born in Lindburgh Park brought up till the age of 14 or so in Bertha Street Turffontein then Moved to Glenanda now live in Mayberry Park but I still am a oukie from the South Born and bred and will die a ouky from the SOUTH
Yoh that shit is so true its kak funny shit it makes me re-evaluate the way I live and act top notch boet whoever wrote this is a genuine owen hey
Awe boet this shits main!
Naught my cousin…you defined in the south by three people or types…no 1 is my Ge’s in Turfontein…where all the Leb’s are related…u don’t tune anyone kak there coz you sister and mother look like you*nd hit even harder…then you find the general type described in the blog earlier…but wait boet…there is a third type….behold the merchants taking over Robertsham…they even took over Robbie’s…behold the Nigerian and the Chinese…and Indians and all and all. But that is a tweet for another day my China’s!
Ha ha ha good laugh!!! South Boy for decades and love it!!! New South best views in GP, and that includes the chicks. My bru, the main difference between a South Boy and a North Boy is basically that most North Boys are fags and live on credit cards, darling. In the South, Cash is King and fags don’t make it here. Loved the article!
Very True ‘Boet’
Hahahaha this is so true its scary – got to love it!! <3 hahaha
That is so true proud to be from the south
LuSito stands for – Look U suck I’m To Old -
Wow I love this hay and me I’m from the dirty South (DS)
LMAOROFPMP!!!!!!! There is just no place like home!!!I mean, like “the hood”, I mean E5, I mean……..ah f@#K it, I’m rolling in my chorr down to the ‘Pan tomorrow for Caipirinha!!!! I heard this year’s brew has a bit of skop to it!
Those brave enough to still wanna try it after reading the above must PULL-IN! Check you on the flip!!!!!
Thanks everyone for the blog love – glad you all had a laugh!
Lol ja dis maar ons taal en die south sal nooit verander nie (:
True Hey , Love the South to bits , why was Lusito Land not mentioned ….lol
Brilliant… U hit the nail on the head… I’m an old south boy… Born and raised… It was the best place in jhb to grow up in but now it’s over run by nigerians, drug dealers and “ladies of the night”… One of the main reasons I left jhb. I stay in cape town now and have never been happier… R.I.P old south, you are missed…
And I am proud 2 say I’m from the south!!! #theres never dull moment there
Excellent!
Uau, its all true hey I like it
Awe awe .. Ek se this is the place , between the post which I though was excellent and put a smile on my face and made me feel a sense of proudness and the replies we got the south my boet … If you grew up in the south you know what its all about … There are just things about it that you can’t explain but love .. The sound,the jols,the bints, all the chinas,ek se nothing comes close 2 it …one up for the chinas from the south !! The best …
Lol!! If you don’t own tommies you don’t belong in the south!! (Y) and you definitly know your in the south when you walk into a house party and 15 guys look at you like they wanna kill you
… 
must say alberton high and bracken are thee schools with the most gheys (yeah and marais but not as much;)) haha much love for the south there’s nothing like it 
<3
The people who made this ”tourist guide” forgot one vital piece of information,all males from the south are either referred to as Rick from the South or Diego from the South.
Lol you have made me smile, your story is flowing and makes humorous reading i loved it.
Congradulations to you for this article, it is really so real and THANK-YOU for honouring the south, myself bred and living in the south makes me proud to belong to this original “own culture”.
Glad you liked it Joe! Awe
How did you forget to mention how they’re called Gheys; that they invented skitting; how they skit mal in their tomys; and that each of them is that one friend from the south to someone in the north, “just incase”. forgot to mention words like “nem” “hondt” “Gheya” and shiiitloads more.
loved reading it though, it (north girl voice) “like reminds me of this one friend I have in the south” haha
Glad you dug it Bails. I left out a lot of stuff – we could write a book on the south I’m sure! Haha.
I love this post, I have sent it to all my friends to remind them of their roots and a few others to show them what we experienced growing up. Although, I now live in the “north”, I know where I come from and was even named “turf girl” by a collegue a few years ago when switching tales of growing up. When I get really mad about something, my hubby says “here comes the south” lol. He is from Durban! Love it, keep up the good work! The South Rules!
Thank you! Glad you liked it. Now come visit the south dammit! Cocktails on me. We don’t have the north traffic
Haha that just made my day, I couldn’t stop laughing because it reminded me so much of high school.. You forgot the diamond earings and three stripes in the hair look though
Hahaha awsome so tru.awe
love it! I am a reformed southie, you know the ones that now live in Sandton (seenten) the worst kind doll… but like Dorothy says “there’s no place like home”
I realize the site is too small to add so many more words to the vocabulary but Please , Please do NOT leave out the line ” hey , what you looking at my stuk hey , you know her ? “
Well I mean, they say ‘the South’ is the new North!
Fantastic article, i too grew up in the south, love my roots and proud of been a South Boy, yes we are brothers to the end, i moved and still have family and friends back home, “You can tell a guy from the South but you can’t tell him much!!!!”
Ha ha ha Grew up in the South, went to Forest High school with plenty Porras and Lebs – left for KZN in the 80′s though – still have a good few mates there in Alberton and Brackendowns – Thanks for the post it was a worthwhile read.
I like a bit of Junk in my Trunk ,I am from the South
[...] I have a bit of a dilemma. I don’t know exactly where in Brazil we were. I suppose we were in Florianopolis but not really in Florianopolis. I guess it’s the same dilemma people from the South have when some one asks them if they live in Joburg. If you need clarity on what a Southerner is read this blog. [...]